Compilation of Michael's Best Jokes About Long Term Relationships | Michael McIntyre


  1. Isaa Aaa

    Isaa Aaa2 hari yang lalu

    Very funny

  2. Kosmpolitanna Orwell

    Kosmpolitanna Orwell2 hari yang lalu

    OMG.. NOTHING compares 🤣😂

  3. Nasrene Kim

    Nasrene Kim4 hari yang lalu

    So funny I enjoyed it thanks

  4. Wendi Watson

    Wendi Watson5 hari yang lalu

    My gosh!, Your impersonations , gestures , paceing is hilarious.. 🤣 I wish I could meet you to thank you!! for so much resonating w/ the pet peeves part.. 😲

  5. Dien M

    Dien M6 hari yang lalu

    I gotta give it to him...he s good!!!🥰🥰🥰 and the accent makes it all even better🤗

  6. Marsha Mahaney

    Marsha Mahaney6 hari yang lalu

    Very funny, very relatable! Thank you 😄😆

  7. Mister Physics

    Mister Physics9 hari yang lalu

    Note how he's "helping her", laundry is HER job, dishes are HER job. If you are both working 40 hours a week, marry someone who is fully committed to doing half of all chores, otherwise the one doing chores while the other is on the sofa playing video games will burn out and start to unravel, they'll get sick, poor health changes you, it changes your priorities. In the height of romance it might be cute to "Mother" your husband, like a 1950's Home Maker, but after a decade together and 2 kids, no one has the time or the will to Mother a full grown man. If the system of Patriarchy really loved a Housewife, they would have given her a wage for Domestic Labour instead he sent her out of the home into the workplace.

  8. Vessa Jesperson

    Vessa Jesperson9 hari yang lalu

    He forgot : piles of dirty socks on the floor , empty cans everywhere , crumbs under computer table , chips and pop corn near the sofa .

  9. Clare Hill

    Clare Hill11 hari yang lalu

    It is like having another child - picking up after him - what feels like constantly 😂

  10. magdalene adjei

    magdalene adjei12 hari yang lalu

    The Toilet paper, toilet seat and toothpaste argument is a constant battle in my house. I

  11. donna ellis

    donna ellis15 hari yang lalu

    Oh my God!! This is the exact conversation I have with my partner all the time.........and nothing changes!!!! .. ....

  12. Rukhsana Mehrban

    Rukhsana Mehrban16 hari yang lalu

    Has to be my favourite comedian by far!! 👌🏻He’s hilarious 😂

  13. Dylan Wheeler

    Dylan Wheeler18 hari yang lalu

    All those things he said is so me

  14. Pinky Diengdoh

    Pinky Diengdoh19 hari yang lalu

    Oh God!! I love u sooooooo much MMc🥰🥰🥰

  15. 1

    119 hari yang lalu

    Great to see Michael on you tube. Why is he never on TV?

  16. Nina Willie

    Nina Willie21 hari yang lalu

    Omgosh I'm dying so fucking funny!

  17. Nasrene Kim

    Nasrene Kim23 hari yang lalu

    LOVE Him he's so funny 🌷🌷🌷


    ROSSELLA DI PEDE23 hari yang lalu

    the only thing you clean in this house, on a regular basis is your internet history and it’s disgusting 😂😂😂

  19. Lucy Pembroke

    Lucy Pembroke26 hari yang lalu

    Hilarious. I' m sure much of it first hand knowledge / experience. Haven't we all experienced it????

  20. BLAIR M Schirmer

    BLAIR M Schirmer26 hari yang lalu

    What sort of moronic woman frets about these things?

  21. Ry Is

    Ry Is26 hari yang lalu

    The joke he forgot to mention is. A male lives with a mother and sisters for many years, and can't wait to get out of that mad house. When old enough, the male makes his own? natural way out of the madhouse, and now somewhat happy at the new ventures which will bestow him. (Alone and fancy free : ) That didn't last to long, as he's now in a relationship and living with a woman creating his own madhouse : ) What is it with men and relationships/madhouses. Men aren't taught to have a relationship with been footloose and fancy free ; )

  22. d 1

    d 126 hari yang lalu

    I'm with her on this one

  23. BumbleBree

    BumbleBree26 hari yang lalu

    Why is this my husband?! 😂😂😂

  24. Daphne Dumont

    Daphne Dumont26 hari yang lalu

    A G.E.N.I.U.S. Love him.

  25. Naji Ould Es. Ahmed

    Naji Ould Es. Ahmed26 hari yang lalu

    I am dead ...hhhhhhhhh

  26. Shadus One

    Shadus One26 hari yang lalu

    Absolute twat.

  27. Karolina T

    Karolina T27 hari yang lalu

    Dishwasher = my husband. Biscuits = my sons. Men 😲🤣

  28. Katrina Blackwood

    Katrina Blackwood27 hari yang lalu

    My stomach has never hurt more

  29. Sara J Scott

    Sara J Scott27 hari yang lalu

    💕💗 LOVE THIS GUY 💋❤😂😂😂 love from scotland ❤

  30. J C

    J C27 hari yang lalu

    Spot on. He is a brilliant observer with just every day average stuff.

  31. Susan Gloag

    Susan Gloag28 hari yang lalu

    I always leave my socks on 😁

  32. Wild Eye

    Wild Eye28 hari yang lalu

    Like, literally, has this cunt ever fucking told a joke in his life? Total fucking cunt along with every cunt who can tolerate his cunt face in front of them for more than 0.05 of a second.

  33. cottonheaded ninnymuggins

    cottonheaded ninnymuggins28 hari yang lalu

    I couldn't cope with the full show that the second clip is from, the mic picking up the nostril breathing just ruined the whole show! Sound engineers messed up on that one :(

  34. Wyn Williams

    Wyn Williams28 hari yang lalu

    I always assumed he was gay.

  35. Best Gamers Basher

    Best Gamers Basher28 hari yang lalu


  36. Taylor Wiseman

    Taylor Wiseman28 hari yang lalu

    I'd like to see a conversation between him and Bill Engvall.

  37. Zoe Du Jour

    Zoe Du Jour28 hari yang lalu

    I feel that "milk" comment in my soul.

  38. kris best

    kris best28 hari yang lalu

    This is where the f word is used correctly, you might as well put it in the fn garden, a masterpiece.

  39. Mucus 23

    Mucus 2328 hari yang lalu

    I was spontaneous over my girlfriend once. She said 'is that it?'

  40. Rory

    Rory29 hari yang lalu

    None of this ever happened. All I could think of when I was listening to this was Stewart Lee singing "you're a liar, and your name is Michael."

  41. caitlan Nicholson

    caitlan Nicholson29 hari yang lalu

    Why am I such a guy.

  42. less kiss

    less kiss29 hari yang lalu

    Putting empty boxes back in the cupboard, fridge ,why do men this??? If it's empty it's trash, throw it away.

  43. Has darkness fades Light glows

    Has darkness fades Light glows29 hari yang lalu

    What's a relationship?

  44. paul hoskin

    paul hoskin29 hari yang lalu

    The longer you are with someone the worse the sex becomes.until she fantasises about tom cruise and you fantasise about everyone else

  45. Joanna Mallory

    Joanna Mallory29 hari yang lalu

    He’s so damn funny! It’s funny because it’s all true, men and women alike....universal in our annoying behaviors I guess.😂😂

  46. less kiss

    less kiss29 hari yang lalu

    Audience is louder then stage. Stupid editors

  47. John Largan

    John Largan29 hari yang lalu

    He is brilliant! Could easily have his own television series.

  48. Janelle Torres

    Janelle TorresBulan Yang lalu

    I completely understand her! The everlasting battle in my house!

  49. Bill Singe

    Bill Singe22 hari yang lalu

    Janelle Torres fucking hell, you need to sort out your priorities

  50. Bip Nop

    Bip NopBulan Yang lalu

    I truly did not laugh once

  51. Bip Nop

    Bip NopBulan Yang lalu

    @Chloe Grant I did not lose anything

  52. Chloe Grant

    Chloe GrantBulan Yang lalu

    Bip Nop sorry for your loss

  53. Hypatia Ravenclaw Sklodowska

    Hypatia Ravenclaw SklodowskaBulan Yang lalu

    After hearing things like this, I am so grateful for my husband

  54. Hypatia Ravenclaw Sklodowska

    Hypatia Ravenclaw Sklodowska26 hari yang lalu

    @tirsden Same, SAME! I think we are all brainwashed to behave in certain ways a d to hide our emotions on regular basis and we also expect from others to behave in a certain way... It's like a shared delusion spread to most of our society, and then when people don't act according to it, we're disappointed If we would speak our true feleings more often, if we would reflect more... 99% of people I know just seem too immature for that, no matter their age men are raised to treat their wives as new mom-servants and women are raised to think that's normal anf men're just like that and there is nothing to be done about it... imagine if we all preffered to break up a relationship than serve a man-child they'd have to toughen up and actually "be a man" and not just some child with added sexual drive?

  55. tirsden

    tirsden26 hari yang lalu

    Yeah I mean he comes off as funny but I'd be infuriated with him too, wouldn't put up with that kinda ridiculousness. A human being needs to value their space (and their honesty) better than that regardless of who is around them. On the flip side, the whole "be spontaneous / argh why did you just do that" thing is also stupid, but I don't "get" the average woman myself, regardless of what genderbits I have downstairs.

  56. geza96

    geza96Bulan Yang lalu

    Not funny, sorry

  57. lifewuzonceezr

    lifewuzonceezrBulan Yang lalu

    3 books!?? Hmmm which ever could she mean! Seems a little grey,, darker and freed to say that!

  58. kstormgeistgem

    kstormgeistgem29 hari yang lalu

    omg, That's what he was referring to??! good Gawd, that's not "romance", that's just f'ed up! so basically, she wanted him to come at her with bondage gear and a bullshit attitude that she was beneath his respect?

  59. lifewuzonceezr

    lifewuzonceezrBulan Yang lalu

    Lol, first screaming row with my husband..I missed the pail with a nappy, didn't notice until he was screaming at me for being LAZY, with our handicapped newborn and being on my own for a whole month!! Minus breakfast dishes and that one nappy, the place was Spotless!!

  60. Aussie Jen

    Aussie JenBulan Yang lalu

    lifewuzonceezr I would have ripped him a new one!

  61. megau

    megauBulan Yang lalu

    William Painter glasses blow

  62. Chris. Rose

    Chris. RoseBulan Yang lalu

    Is this what passes for comedy now ? if you can laugh at this you'll laugh at anything !

  63. Evolving At Light Speed

    Evolving At Light SpeedBulan Yang lalu

    Way too crude. Would hardly believe that was even Michael McIntyre. Hope he’ll go back to being funny. He was one of the few comedians that weren’t a waste of life to watch. I don’t want to lose him.🥺

  64. Chanie Feldman-Levin

    Chanie Feldman-LevinBulan Yang lalu

    What monster opens a new milk when theres one already one open??!!!

  65. Dien M

    Dien M6 hari yang lalu

    @Liricool bahahahahahha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  66. Dien M

    Dien M6 hari yang lalu


  67. mckavitt

    mckavitt23 hari yang lalu

    Chanie Feldman-Levin I live w one who opens new everything before the old one is finished.

  68. Dakota Long

    Dakota Long26 hari yang lalu

    Me... We have skimmed and semi skimmed milk. I can't drink skimmed milk due to having a critically low weight.

  69. Liricool

    Liricool28 hari yang lalu

    Are you his wife?

  70. Lisa McWilliams

    Lisa McWilliamsBulan Yang lalu

    Hahaha amen to the wife! I feel the same way

  71. Lisa McWilliams

    Lisa McWilliamsBulan Yang lalu

    Lol 4 years you could t commit?

  72. Tom Millard

    Tom MillardBulan Yang lalu

    Why am I watching this I ain't getting a long-term relationship ever 😂

  73. Mister Physics

    Mister Physics9 hari yang lalu

    Wise move, invest in you, invest in a roof over your head, Lovers come and go, Fam-squad always there to pick up the pieces.

  74. be frank

    be frankBulan Yang lalu

    arse bandit

  75. Artjoms Pugacovs

    Artjoms PugacovsBulan Yang lalu

    Audience is louder then stage. Stupid editors

  76. Merima-Gabriella Tropoja

    Merima-Gabriella TropojaBulan Yang lalu

    Putting empty boxes back in the cupboard, fridge ,why do men this??? If it's empty it's trash, throw it away.

  77. Jaykachi

    JaykachiHari Yang lalu

    I know I do it so that I know what brand it is that I like. As in, if the granola bar box is empty I don’t want to throw it away until I get another box, if I like that flavor.

  78. Bill Singe

    Bill Singe9 hari yang lalu

    Mister Physics that’s why I like girls with smaller feet. Means they can get closer to the oven. I always give them a recipe book of all my favourite meals on the first date. I’m single now.

  79. Mister Physics

    Mister Physics9 hari yang lalu

    @Thrash Maniac lol moronic

  80. Mister Physics

    Mister Physics9 hari yang lalu

    Sexism101 "cleaning is women's work amirite lads"

  81. Gabrielle Warburton

    Gabrielle Warburton14 hari yang lalu

    I do it and it pisses my boyfriend off then I go to my mum's she don't like it either but I blame the nephew which I can't do at home xx

  82. Ange

    AngeBulan Yang lalu

    Comedian with no balls.

  83. Ezar

    EzarBulan Yang lalu

    He's a Champ in delivery

  84. lett lett

    lett lettBulan Yang lalu

    6:12 reminds me of that episode from friends where rachel is naked in the kitchen

  85. Twilight Wolf MCU

    Twilight Wolf MCUBulan Yang lalu

    3:03 THAT'S LEGIT ME AND MY MUM!! 🤣🤣😂😂

  86. steven davis

    steven davisBulan Yang lalu

    Michael McIntyre , clinically unfunny.

  87. Mrs. Thomas

    Mrs. ThomasBulan Yang lalu

    This is so funny, but its only because it's true! Love this!!

  88. Jonah Whale

    Jonah WhaleBulan Yang lalu

    Is Michael still ripping off George Carlin monologues like he did years back?

  89. Henry Ellison

    Henry EllisonBulan Yang lalu

    Order tragedy paint apple clothes ghost opera clock injury target acceptance comparison.

  90. Jaya K

    Jaya KBulan Yang lalu

    My dad is the same way. I bet to him, the effort it takes to put the dish near the dishwasher is the same as me cleaning the entire house🙄 Still love him though.

  91. Jaya K

    Jaya K23 hari yang lalu

    @mckavitt Why are you stating the obvious?

  92. mckavitt

    mckavitt23 hari yang lalu

    Jaya K You’re not married to him.

  93. Jaya K

    Jaya K28 hari yang lalu

    @Sam 88 L😂l

  94. Sam 88

    Sam 8828 hari yang lalu

    It truly is just as difficult

  95. kan 07

    kan 07Bulan Yang lalu

    They sound like they're a cute couple 😆

  96. Heather.M.M. Sheehan

    Heather.M.M. SheehanBulan Yang lalu

    OMFG That empty packet back in the cupboard, UGH! Both my sister's and our dad do that. Mum still thinks it's me for some reason 😭😭😭

  97. SchwarzundWeis

    SchwarzundWeisBulan Yang lalu

    6:51, that is one filled stadium!

  98. Sara Winardi

    Sara WinardiBulan Yang lalu


  99. Lovey Ochi

    Lovey OchiBulan Yang lalu

    just lovely

  100. Spongebob0911

    Spongebob0911Bulan Yang lalu

    Now i want to buy a dishwasher ....

  101. Sandman

    SandmanBulan Yang lalu

    How come its seen as comical when women get pissed at men and tell them what to do, and what pisses them off. But when its men getting pissed at women for not doing or doing something, it's frowned upon? It's funny Or accepted if women control the physical part of the relationship, but not men, that's frowned upon as well.

  102. Sandman

    SandmanBulan Yang lalu

    @StarGazerLeon ROTFL

  103. StarGazerLeon

    StarGazerLeonBulan Yang lalu

    aka: Most women.

  104. StarGazerLeon

    StarGazerLeonBulan Yang lalu

    Yes, just like women who don't pay 50% of the bills.

  105. Tom McClellan

    Tom McClellanBulan Yang lalu

    @May Hem then that would be a waste but I suspect he would be nagged equally if he opened 3 bottles of water that wouldn't go to waste

  106. May Hem

    May HemBulan Yang lalu

    Tom McClellan it does matter. You could have three milk cartons, all with different dates. And if you use up, the furtherest away date carton, the other two could be out of date.

  107. Aurelian Manoli

    Aurelian ManoliBulan Yang lalu

    Making comedy from facts. He’s a genius !

  108. Rick Hignett

    Rick HignettBulan Yang lalu

    Ha! I really feel for Michael’s Wife on the whole Dishwasher thing. That said, when I lived with my brother & we had a Mini Dishwasher, I’d actually prefer him to leave his dirty Plates & Cutlery next to it because he didn’t know how to load it properly. Ok, so I DO have OCD, but those who think it’s all about that.... it’s not! There IS a proper way to load a Dishwasher to maximise space & ensure all the things get washed properly & this kinda shit gets discovered through Trial & Error. So, for those blokes who get the same shit from their Partners about leaving their Plate NEAR to the Dishwashers, don’t just chuck it in anywhere & think you’re helping - think beforehand & just work out the best place for it.... better yet, FFS ASK! Lol After all, successful relationships are all about GOOD COMMUNICATION! 😉

  109. Robyn Dare

    Robyn Dare26 hari yang lalu

    oml ME XD